Made Perfect in My Weakness

I expected today’s blog to look a lot different.. After years of praying and almost a year and a half of preparation, today was supposed to be the beginning of it all. I imagined being hours into a travel “day” that would probably look more like a week. I would be realizing that I wished I had packed a little lighter and would be learning the beauty in a constant community. I would be too excited to feel the exhaustion and I would have probably called my mom several times while I still could and would be sharing what I expected the next few months to look like and officially saying my goodbyes for a little.. Wow, things look different. Never in a million years did I expect these past few months to look the way they have. 

It has felt like every dream and hope for the future I had just completely slipped through my fingertips. I struggled to find the good or any purpose in this season and honestly felt like there was no way the Lord could use me in this season when I had expected to be used in ways like never before. But, something I am learning is that this very idea of a dream slipping through my hands is a beautiful picture of the Lord regaining control. Now, it may not be because of my surrender or my decision for things to look this way; but, by no means does that mean my faith and hope in the situation are lacking. I am learning that when hopes and dreams fall out of my hands and stop looking the way I planned, they begin morphing and looking the way the Lord had planned all along. 

He is holding tight to our dreams and making them even more beautiful and fruitful than our minds are even capable of comprehending. Hence why our dreams only go as far to ever be “our” dreams. The Lord’s dreams and plan for us is more than we are able to even begin to fathom and honestly if the Lord would’ve told me what this semester and next year would look like, I wouldn’t have been able to handle it. I wouldn’t have been able to believe in myself, I wouldn’t think I was capable of doing that much all at once and I definitely would have doubted my ability to balance school, work, an internship, and prepping to actually leave for my race. I have learned that even when it feels like everything around me is crumbling, He is still there and still moving. His grace is sufficient and His power is made perfect in my weakness. Right now, my weakness is trusting the Lord because this experience has been so far from what I ever expected it to be, but the Lord is still showing up. He is offering grace and so many opportunities I never thought I would’ve seen had I been leaving for the race today. He is fulfilling His promises and reminding me over and over again of how faithful He is. I may not know the purpose of this season and I may not know what the full picture looks like, but I have my next step. HIS PLAN IS GREATER AND MORE BEAUTIFUL THAN EVER. I can’t wait to see His plan unfold and see what He makes of this semester and this next year, it may not be what I planned but it was His plan all along & for that I am hopeful.