An Expected Goodbye with Unexpected Changes

*This was written before all this corona virus craziness, and in all honesty now is a hard time too because the things I thought would act as a bridge to allow me to say goodbye and move on from this season are not happening.. But I have full trust that there is so much purpose in this season and that God is working it all for good. I’m praying for everyone in this season and I cannot wait to see the fruit that comes from this time. Praying for healing, for peace, for UNITY, and for boldness to step into faith and trust Him more than ever before. For updates on how AIM is handling the corona virus, you can click this link to read more. As for this blog post, my school just got canceled for the rest of the year. This means, most of the things I talked about in this blog are no longer happening and I am now left without a last choir concert, last prom, a last day that I was aware of, and SO many traditions I have been waiting for years to be a part of have been taken away.. this blog post was written late February/early March before we knew the true craziness of this pandemic. God is still moving and speaking these things over my life and so I wanted to share it and hopefully encourage a fellow senior or anyone struggling with all the sudden changes. Reading this back it’s really crazy how much this speaks to the time we are in now, even though I wrote it so long ago without a clue of what was going on in the world. Thankful Jesus’ timing is always greater. Thank you all for the support I honestly can’t find words to express how beautiful the community I have around me is. Praying for you guys, please continue to pray that I am able to fundraise and have partnerships during this crazy time. Hope you enjoy and are encouraged! We will get through this, God’s in control!!

Through numerous melt-downs thinking about the future and all that is changing, I’ve struggled about how to process it all. I’ve struggled with fear of the future and fear that my routine is going to be DRASTICALLY different in just a few short months. The past few weeks have been full of uncertainty, fear, LOTS of tears, and yet somehow I’ve weirdly felt a lot of peace about my next steps even in the midst of so many different emotions. 

In 2 months, high school is coming to an end and while it hasn’t been the best 4 years it’s been memorable and full of so many unforgettable moments. There are things I did not like about high school and by no means is it the best time of my life, but the things I love about it, I am so very passionate about. My life revolves around most of these things and so it is going to be really hard to say goodbye. 

In 6 months, my whole world is going to change. There is no doubt that this is Jesus’ will for my life, but thinking about the changes is scary. My family won’t be anywhere in reach, which honestly is one of the weirdest things to think about. I have always been very independent so I am not typically one to get home sick or even think about calling home when on vacation but it’s beginning to hit me how different this is from a typical vacation and that the option of calling might not even be available, no matter how badly I want it to be.  My whole family and I are so close. For example, I was sick a few weeks ago and had to go to the ER. Nothing serious but within minutes of my mom was talking to my family and both of my aunts and my grandparents were on their way. They’re my biggest support system, so not being able to tell them all about my day or update my mom on every little thing happening is going to be SO weird.

My daily routine is going to change when the race approaches— new faces, new places & while that is all SO so beautiful and exciting it’s started to hit me how quickly it is all happening and it’s a little scary. I only applied to one school for after the race and got denied which REALLY hurt (a lot more than I was expecting) and caused a lot of fear because of the unknown regarding my steps after the race.

I’ve been praying a lot that God would remind me of His presence and that He has a plan. I know that He is equipping me for the change. I know His plan is the world race and I have NEVER doubted it. But the change is scary, yet in the midst of all this change.. Jesus reminded me that he offers new mornings with new mercies. With those new mercies he offers new opportunities and he offers to make me new DAILY. This is something I have heard my whole life and I have always believed deeply but God spoke it in a new way recently. He reminded me that with changes, comes strength and SO much beauty. I am being molded to look more like Jesus daily. My heart is being renewed and my life is reflecting His glory more and more. There is a lot to be said about being made new but one thing I know for sure is that I am being made new and being equipped to live out God’s will for me. I am being molded so that I can be used in new ways, and in new places. He is making me new each and every day and is preparing me to face the changes with Him at my side. He is going before me and has already made a way. 

To high school seniors or anyone experiencing change, whatever your next step may be– know that God is preparing you for it (1 Thessalonians 5:24 “The one who calls you is faithful, and he will do it.”) and He is working to mold you into the person you are and the person you need to be to face the future. You don’t have to have it all together, you’re feelings are valid but it’s important that you back your feelings with the truth in His word and who He is. Remember that He goes before you and is preparing a way. He is a God that never leaves, never forsakes, and loves abundantly. There is a purpose to everything and the best is yet to come.

Here are some verses to hopefully encourage you guys in this time. All the love!

Deuteronomy 31:8 “The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid of discouraged.”

Romans 8:28 “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

Psalms 90:17 “May the favor of the Lord our God rest on us; establish the work of our hands for us.”

Lamentations 3:22-23 “Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning. Great is your faithfulness.”